Book Study 2023-2024
Chapter 49: Resist the Urge to Criticize
Chapter 49 Question: What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, and lies to feed their Ego? Look inward...are you guilty?
I believe that there are different levels to criticalness and talking poorly about others; one version is purely just to feed the ego and I believe one is justified but obviously not the kindest thing to do. It is without doubt that we all have feelings of resentment, dislike, or hate towards someone or something, but the circumstance in which you complain and how you say it really has a lot of impact and reveals which one of the two it is. Complaining just to complain or criticizing and judging others when the thing they are doing is not outrageous at all is purely a sign of self-soothing. To whine about how ugly someone is, how unlucky you are, how everything doesn’t go in your favor, how someone else is so dumb is all just to make ourselves feel better. Yet somehow this doesn’t achieve anything. By doing this, they ruin the mood, make themselves look like an asshole, and personally it makes me dislike them more than the people they make fun of. I believe I have done this before, most definitely, but as the years and months have gone on I have been getting better and better about this because I realize what it shows about me. I am not necessarily guilty but I can recognize and concede that the actions aren’t good in any way, shape, or form.
Chapter 50: Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions & See if You Can Soften Them
Chapter 50 Question: Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
I feel that I am not that stubborn nowadays but I was a couple of years ago. I do believe that I am very opinionated on some subjects and am more than willing to discuss or debate it, but in general I have conceded the idea of fighting people and being stubborn in general if it doesn’t go against my morals. I don’t think I am petty like that and are stubborn with family, friends, or anyone in general, but if things go against my beliefs I will hold firm and not waver, in any way at all. I think that there are some things I could be stubborn about, but I can’t recognize them at this time. Can this be considered as ignorance? Maybe. But if it comes to my mind, I am not mad to admit it and say that I am stubborn in one way or another. This might be bad going forward, but I will accept that and go about my day.
Chapter 51: Just for Fun, Agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (Then Watch it Go Away)
Chapter 51 Question: Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea to accept the criticism?
A time when someone criticized me has really only been my mom, and when she does this I get worked up a bit because I feel that she is helicoptering me. There are some times where her criticisms are valid, but other times I feel that she has a control problem and is just trying to forage her way into my decisions. Focusing more on the times where it is valid, she is pointing out things that I am consciously working on and want to improve, so most of those times I get frustrated because I know it's a problem and am working on it and to hear it again hurts me. It hurts to see other people see your problems, especially when you are trying to get rid of it. I kind of agree with the author’s idea to accept the criticism, with the idea that you need to digest it, even if you don’t agree with it. Maybe even think, “why is this person thinking this about me? Is this a problem I want to solve and is it valid?” You need to work with yourself and with the criticism to improve overall.
Chapter 52: Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions
Chapter 52 Question: Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn’t agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversations go?
I believe that hearing other people’s perspectives, even when they don’t agree with me, becomes more and more interesting. Especially when this is not with personal issues, like problems in class or arguments, I like hearing from other people and their ideas and conversing with them. I find that when I discuss ideas with people more educated on the topic as well as people who disagree with me, I get a more well-rounded worldview and am really more happy with things and what I believe in. I have had a recent addiction to learning in areas where I am weak, like EQ and intellectual discussions that are not easy at all. I like learning and becoming a better person, because in the future when I provide for people and have tight relationships, I want to be a good person for and to them if that makes any sense. People want to be around and reciprocate that energy. If I want to be treated right, I have to treat myself and others right too.
Chapter 49 Question: What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, and lies to feed their Ego? Look inward...are you guilty?
I believe that there are different levels to criticalness and talking poorly about others; one version is purely just to feed the ego and I believe one is justified but obviously not the kindest thing to do. It is without doubt that we all have feelings of resentment, dislike, or hate towards someone or something, but the circumstance in which you complain and how you say it really has a lot of impact and reveals which one of the two it is. Complaining just to complain or criticizing and judging others when the thing they are doing is not outrageous at all is purely a sign of self-soothing. To whine about how ugly someone is, how unlucky you are, how everything doesn’t go in your favor, how someone else is so dumb is all just to make ourselves feel better. Yet somehow this doesn’t achieve anything. By doing this, they ruin the mood, make themselves look like an asshole, and personally it makes me dislike them more than the people they make fun of. I believe I have done this before, most definitely, but as the years and months have gone on I have been getting better and better about this because I realize what it shows about me. I am not necessarily guilty but I can recognize and concede that the actions aren’t good in any way, shape, or form.
Chapter 50: Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions & See if You Can Soften Them
Chapter 50 Question: Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
I feel that I am not that stubborn nowadays but I was a couple of years ago. I do believe that I am very opinionated on some subjects and am more than willing to discuss or debate it, but in general I have conceded the idea of fighting people and being stubborn in general if it doesn’t go against my morals. I don’t think I am petty like that and are stubborn with family, friends, or anyone in general, but if things go against my beliefs I will hold firm and not waver, in any way at all. I think that there are some things I could be stubborn about, but I can’t recognize them at this time. Can this be considered as ignorance? Maybe. But if it comes to my mind, I am not mad to admit it and say that I am stubborn in one way or another. This might be bad going forward, but I will accept that and go about my day.
Chapter 51: Just for Fun, Agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (Then Watch it Go Away)
Chapter 51 Question: Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author’s idea to accept the criticism?
A time when someone criticized me has really only been my mom, and when she does this I get worked up a bit because I feel that she is helicoptering me. There are some times where her criticisms are valid, but other times I feel that she has a control problem and is just trying to forage her way into my decisions. Focusing more on the times where it is valid, she is pointing out things that I am consciously working on and want to improve, so most of those times I get frustrated because I know it's a problem and am working on it and to hear it again hurts me. It hurts to see other people see your problems, especially when you are trying to get rid of it. I kind of agree with the author’s idea to accept the criticism, with the idea that you need to digest it, even if you don’t agree with it. Maybe even think, “why is this person thinking this about me? Is this a problem I want to solve and is it valid?” You need to work with yourself and with the criticism to improve overall.
Chapter 52: Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions
Chapter 52 Question: Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you didn’t agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversations go?
I believe that hearing other people’s perspectives, even when they don’t agree with me, becomes more and more interesting. Especially when this is not with personal issues, like problems in class or arguments, I like hearing from other people and their ideas and conversing with them. I find that when I discuss ideas with people more educated on the topic as well as people who disagree with me, I get a more well-rounded worldview and am really more happy with things and what I believe in. I have had a recent addiction to learning in areas where I am weak, like EQ and intellectual discussions that are not easy at all. I like learning and becoming a better person, because in the future when I provide for people and have tight relationships, I want to be a good person for and to them if that makes any sense. People want to be around and reciprocate that energy. If I want to be treated right, I have to treat myself and others right too.